Fifty Shades of Shit

Before I launch into my usual rant, I need to be very clear, I have NEVER read Fifty Shades of Grey, nor will I ever. However, I know enough to make my stomach turn whenever the book is mentioned. A colleague of mine told me the basis of the plot and it by no means encouraged me to experience the series.

In a world where 80% of women under 30 have been sexually assaulted and every 2 minutes someone is raped in our country, why on Earth is a book that promotes sexual abuse such a big hit? Of course, I have been told this series is about a woman who willingly gets involved with a man who is into S&M and grows to love the spankings and abuse. However, even after he beats the shit out of her in the “Red Room of Pain” and it appears that she leaves him, she returns only after a short period of time.

This series is more dangerous than Twilight. It sends a chilling message that women need to be dominated, abused, and manipulated. I don’t buy the bull shit excuse that women are tired of being in control of their work and personal lives, and this book allows them to slip into a fantasy world devoted to pain and sexual dominance. When did our society fall into this pathetic realm of abuse and sadism? When did women become powerless minions of abusive men? When did women become the weaker sex—for real this time?

As a survivor of a sexual assault and several abusive relationships, I weep for the young women who read this abhorrent series and believe they must surrender their rights, their personalities, and their independence to keep a man. I weep for survivors of rape and abuse, because this series glorifies sexual assault as “romantic” and evidence of love. It is obvious the author has never been raped, never been hit, and never been in fear of her life from an abusive lover. Or if she has, she is too fucked up for words.   

As a Residential Life professional, I am overwhelmed with anger, grief, and despair over how this book has been received. This past year, I counseled three rape victims—there is no way I would describe their experiences as romantic. Their rapists were not misunderstood men (like Grey) who were simply confused about how to express love. Abuse is not sexy. Abuse is not erotic. Abuse is a horrific blight on our culture, and it sickens me to my core that a WOMAN is profiting off the glorification of it.

I will be pushing for this book to be featured in our RA training—not for its literary merit, but for the appalling message it sends both men and women. Maybe we can bring a silver lining to the Fifty Shades of Grey clouds hanging over our society. 

Game Over. Or is it?

While playing Donkey Kong for the Wii with a few of my Conference Hosts tonight, they asked me why the game would even count down your lives since it saves periodically throughout game play. Even if you run out of all your red balloons, you can simply start from your last completed level and resume the game.

It was at this point, that I realized how I old I am compared to these young ones. When I first started playing video games, Mario Brothers (the original) was the most popular game and the only console available was the Nintendo. There were no memory cards or save options. You had a certain number of guys with whom to play, and if you ran out, you were forced to restart the entire game from the very beginning.

Little Diddy & His Scholarship

Justin Combs, son of P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Combs, has received a UCLA football scholarship offer. Even though his dad is reportedly worth $500 million (according to the Huffington Post article available here), Justin plans on accepting the money. When the controversy first began, Justin responded via Twitter, “Regardless what circumstances are, I put that work in!!!! PERIOD."

I don’t disagree that Justin Combs is a smart man. The same article said he is graduating from Iona Prep in New Rochelle with a 3.75 GPA. I don’t disagree that Justin Combs is a great athlete since he earned a scholarship to UCLA. What I find issue with is that P. Diddy has WAY more money than most parents of first semester students and can afford to send his son to UCLA, Harvard, and Yale (all at the same time) without taking out a Parent PLUS loan.

Liberal Arts v. Trade Schools

No job offers yet. I guess there’s still time. In the meantime, I question if I made a mistake with my liberal arts degree. Would I have been better off getting a specialized or vocational degree? Would I look good in plumber overalls? Hell yea!

Liberal Arts degrees provide students with an overall education. It prepares them not just for their career, but for the world. No one likes being forced to take Intermediate Statistics or Child Psychology if they are a biology major; however, by knowing more than their core subject, they are better equipped to be a well-rounded citizen.

Trade schools or universities with no general education component prepare students for a specific career track.  Examples are art schools, air conditioner repair certificates, and vocational programs at community colleges. Rather than expend energy on classes that have nothing to do with their future, students enroll in courses with a stronger focus on their major.

RA Training: What's on your "Hell No" List?

After several meetings, our committee is only slightly closer to a concise training plan. The last time we met, we engaged in the usual ResLife brainstorming sessions where one person stands at the front of the room jotting down every inane idea we feel comfortable shouting out. As with every other meeting before, the suggestions start serious and quickly devolve into outlandish and immature.

Training Theme Announced: Hunger Games

Sorry readers for the extended absence. I wish I could say I was busy tutoring under-privileged youth in the inner city or that I volunteered to rebuild houses in the South with Habitat for Humanity. Nope. I was just hung over from indulging in too many laps around my empty hall while screaming, “I’m FREE!!” Now it is back to the grind of preparing for RA training, which commences in less than three months.

Today, I received the training theme. Since we usually follow the pop culture trends of the year, I was not surprised to see Hunger Games. Hopefully, Lionsgate will not hunt down the department and sue the pants off of it for copyright infringement. Oh who am I kidding, I really want that to happen—a lawsuit would be entertaining. However, Warner Brothers never showed up when we used Harry Potter three years ago, so my hopes are not high. Anyway, I digress.

Luckily, I am on the training committee so I can geek out with my Hunger Games knowledge which has grown exponentially since I discovered how hot Gale and Peeta are. For the summer, I will be updating you all on how we are incorporating our favorite book/movie about vicious children murdering their peers into our training schedule. I have plenty of ideas and cannot wait to share them. I may even reveal a few door decs for your viewing pleasure. Check back often, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Participation Badge Generation

As my residents move out this week, the more I hear from their parents. Today, I had to endure a one-sided conversation from a father whose daughter was leaving after having a less than stellar semester. He told me that his daughter, Laura, is so confident in her abilities that she is actually surprised she is not the top of her class or best friends with everyone on her floor. According to her father, Laura has never failed at anything.

After listening to Laura’s father rant about her terrible roommate and horrible professors, I walked away thinking about today’s generation. I realized that Laura is not accustomed to hearing “no” or failing at anything, because she is of the Participation Badge Generation. This is a group of students who, in Little League, received a trophy just for playing. They were told by their parents they could be anything they wanted to be when they grew up. This generation was always protected by mothers who overly praised their mediocre children and fathers who argued with anyone who disagreed.