Friday, March 2, 2012

Rush Limbaugh: Greatest Reason for Birth Control

Well, the overinflated windbag sure has stepped in it this time. Thanks to his insensitive and sexist comments, his advertisers are fleeing like freshmen from a Frat party. Just when I thought the birth control debate could not get any more insulting, Rush has exceeded my expectations of douche-baggery; he called the young lady, who wanted to testify as to why women should have affordable access to birth control, a “slut”.

My heart goes out to you, Stacy Fluke. I also want to say thank you! Thank you for standing up for the rights of all women. Having “too much sex”, as Rush cited as the reason for the high cost of birth control, is hardly why women want insurance companies to cover it. Besides providing a woman with the right to choose when or if she has a baby, there are far more uses for the Pill. For instance, my sister was prescribed the Pill starting when she was a junior in high school; NOT because she was whoring around, but because she had extremely low levels of iron in her blood—she was anemic—and the Pill helped regulate that. I also have a friend who is on the Pill, because she suffers from ovarian cysts. She may never have children thanks to this disease. Trust me, she is not whoring around either.

I am SO sick and tired of conservative Neanderthals dictating what women can do with their bodies. Until one of them pops out a baby or bleeds once a month, they have no say in what happens to their wife’s, girlfriend’s, daughter’s, or co-workers’ vaginas. They do not have one; therefore, they do not stipulate what goes on in there. Plus, I wonder how other conservatives, like Rick Santorum, even have kids. I am pretty sure he is scared of sex and sees it only as a way to continue the human race. If he was not a stain on our society and a crazed danger to our freedoms, I might have pity for him.

Have we forgotten that if heterosexual men want sex, they need a woman willing to give it to them? Unless they’re rapists, and even then, I think Rush would be more supportive of forced sex than women having the right to be covered for birth control—but, I digress. Maybe I should send a care package to all the Republican men (and Rush) who call women who want access to contraception sluts: blow-up dolls. It’s the perfect solution! They don’t talk back. They’ll happily agree missionary is the only acceptable position. And they won’t ask for the Pill. The ideal Republican woman—Blow-up Wanda.

One last thing: if insurance companies refuse to cover birth control and the conservative zealots claim it mars our society’s morals, then I say take away Viagra. I find all those bathtub commercials offensive and amoral anyway. 

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